I’m Just Me

Blue print wm.jpgHey All,

How’s the weather! The weather in New York is having mood swings. Yesterday I was outside all day in a T-shirt, warm in the sun. Today, I have a thermal shirt and winter coat on and that breeze is still a bit nippy! That’s just how it goes though.

I finally found a site provider that I really like. As you can tell it’s wordpress. You can make a nice little site, start a blog, very user friendly and I like the way it looks. So here we are! This is the official blog for M. Phoenix Art! What will be discussed you ask? A little bit of everything!

I entitled my blog “Free Spirit Meg”. I have been called a free spirit quite a few times in my life and it seems to sum me up pretty good. I threw my first name in there because this blog is ALL me.

It will be about my work (fine art & photography). I will discuss my techniques, my inspirations, and stories pertaining to my current works. I will continue, as I always have, documenting my life and the world around me through my camera. The only difference is I will be sharing everything with the world from now on. That includes my trials, errors, and lessons learned along the way. Speaking of, I have just recently learned a very valuable lesson and it is one of the reasons I am starting this blog.

I thought I could be an artist and stay hidden from the world. Quiet as a mouse. Just look at my pictures, don’t look at me. Sounds ridiculous, right?  Can anyone say confidence issues!? Not to mention how shy I am. I feel like I’m being judged 24/7 . Like I’m doing something wrong, never making the right decisions, and never being good enough. I’ve noticed that other people’s opinions were affecting me more than I had thought. I don’t actually believe I’m worthless or no good but I kept telling myself that. I argue with myself all the time about what’s proper and acceptable. Then I realized, I’m not arguing with myself. I’m arguing with the people surrounding me that make me feel that way. The influence of outside sources telling me I should be doing something better. Asking me when am I going to do something with my life. Telling me I need to change what I’m doing and the way I’m doing it. Instead of standing up for myself I listened to it. I believed it. And I followed it down a path of misery and paranoia. A life of constant ridicule and saying “Oh, I’ll be happy as soon as I get to this point” and changing things in my life to accommodate to what others thought.

I’m not going to do that anymore. I am my own person. I’ve never really been open about how I truly feel about things. For a while there, I didn’t even know myself. Now…I am me again. I’m not what others say I should be. I’m not doing things that make me unhappy just because that’s what is expected of me. I am a ruler of my own fate and if I don’t grab the reins and take control of my own life, someone else will. I am not a sheep. I am not a dog. I will decide if I need to change my life. I will decide when I am happy. I need to be true to myself and live a more fulfilling life because of it. I am happy with who I am and where my life is and no one will tell me I’m wrong. That’s not their right or choice.

I need to stop hiding who I really am in fear of offending someone else. If you are offended by the type of person I am and how I live, that’s your problem. I am embarrassed it took me this long to realize that. In keeping this blog it will allow me to show my true colors with confidence. I believe in myself and I know I’m a good person. I’m a free spirit and I need to start acting like it. My life becomes a helluva lot happier when I do.

Damn, maybe it’s not just the weather that is having mood swings! To make a long story short, my true essence as an artist will be expressed through my blog. I am very passionate about what I do and the work I create and I will never let anyone tell me it isn’t good enough!

If you can take anything away from this, remember to live your own life. Do what makes you happy. We are all different and view the world in different ways. Have your own voice and don’t let others speak for you. Only you can express what is going on in your head!

Thanks for reading! Until next time…

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